December 14, 2011
My aunt — my favorite aunt — was diagnosed with cancer in 2001. I wasn’t really sure what this actually meant. No one in my family was really talking about it, so I kind of pretended like her cancer didn’t exist. She was my dads business partner & as far as I was concerned, she was going to live forever. That’s what aunts do, right?
Her health took a turn for the worse during my senior year of college. I was asked to come in to work for my dad’s company to help her out a few days a week. When I graduated that May, I took a freelance position for a local rape crisis clinic and began working full time for my dad — my aunt was getting sicker, and needed my help even more. This was supposed to be a temporary position, and I really wanted to focus on my career as a designer.
For a little while turned into more than five years.
My aunt always told me, “You gotta do what you gotta do“. She always told me to do what makes me happy. Not to look back. Not to worry about making other people happy because I have to live for myself.
Ben & I were engaged the following spring, and I was knee-deep in wedding planning & designing our wedding stationery. I was already working as a freelance designer, but loved designing for weddings so. much. more. When I told my aunt that I would really like to go full-time with this, she said, “Well what the f*ck are you waiting for?” She was candid and blunt, and I loved that so much about her.
The summer we were married I opened an Etsy shop, just to see where things would go. It was always my dream to make this become a full-time job, but I always felt guilty for leaving my job at my dad’s office. I had that job to help my aunt, and now that she was gone, I felt an obligation to continuing helping. How could I desert my family?
Ben & I deciding to start a family was just the kick in the butt I needed to make my dreams come true. We tried for years, but I struggled with infertility. Finally, we found out we were pregnant on Valentine’s Day 2011.
You gotta do what you gotta do, my aunt always told me. Don’t worry about making other people happy. Live for you.
In spring of 2010, I poured my heart and soul into Blush Printables. I slowly watched it grow before my eyes. I had many sleepless nights and work-filled weekends. It was exhausting having a full time office job and working Blush full time simultaneously. I had to do it, though. This was my dream.
Knowing that we had a child on the way was just the kick in the butt that I needed, though. I wanted nothing more than to be a stay at home mom and continue growing Blush. I still felt such a twang of guilt, though. How could I quit my job? I’d been working for my dad for almost six years & felt so horrible about wanting to quit. When I got pregnant with Chloe, I looked into child care. I wanted to find a way to do it all. Work for my dad, design for Blush, be a mommy.
I had to admit to myself that I couldn’t do everything and besides, what the f*ck was I waiting for? In May 2011, I told my dad I was going to be quitting my job & to start looking for a replacement for my position. It took him until late September to find someone, and it absolutely killed me to have to train someone new, but I did what I had to do — for me, my family, and my daughter.
{Chloe Anne, October 21, 2011}
We chose the name Chloe Anne in honor of my aunt — her name was Suzanne, and we decided to use Anne has her middle name. I hope Chloe grows up to be as badass as my aunt Sue. I hope she follows her own dreams. I hope she listens to her heart, and does what makes her happy. I hope she opens her eyes and her heart to the world, and breathes in all it can offer. Now that I’ve finally taken my aunts advice and done the same, I’m so much happier. So less stressed out. So much more fulfilled.
2011 was a huge year for me. I was able to collaborate with a ton of amazing women on so many projects and parties. I was given the opportunity to work with many brides and grooms, bringing their stationery visions to life. My husband and I celebrated three years of marriage. I found out I was pregnant. I went on vacation with my entire family and had an amazing time. I expanded my business and began designing birthday invitations and birth announcements. I got to work with several amazing photographers to expand my line of Save the Date cards. 2011 completely kicked ass for so many reasons, and if I hadn’t taken my aunts advice.. I wouldn’t be here writing this. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to meet all of you and be a part of so many amazing networks.
So, Aunt Sue — this ones for you. Thanks for making sure I followed my own dreams. Thanks for 24 amazing years of knowing you. Thanks for always watching over me and guiding me in the right direction. Thank you for inspiring me, for your unconditional love, our amazing adventures together and the many, many years of laughter. IloveyouImissyou.
For more One Day in December bloggers, check out Allie’s (of The Secret Life of Invites) post from yesterday and tune in to Collen from Soudtrack to I Do for tomorrows post.
